Bombs Over BugsInn
I made no secret of my invasion. The house I moved into had been vacant for more than a month, and it was obvious from day one that it had become a safe-haven for flies, spiders, ants, mosquitoes and June bugs.
Ever the pacifist, I gave them time to retreat. I set up camp indoors, hoping we could each learn to respect eachothers borders. I kept Raids to a minimum, and on the patio where our borders touched I established a no-fly zone with my citronella candles.
But my efforts at diplomacy have failed, and after three months our relations have only gotten worse. There is a cobweb in my kitchen and spider bite on my back.
I had hoped it wouldn’t come to this, but at this time feel a full-scale attack is the only way to establish peace. This Independence day, I will declare my freedom from bugs. Before I leave to attend 4th of July parties, I will launch a bug bomb and send a cloud of poison throughout the house.
If any bugs are reading this: I urge you to vacate the premises immediately. I know it’s hot outside, but if you choose to hide indoors, I will hunt you down and I will kill you.
